audrey / an age / a location

"i didn't ask for santana abraxas!!!"

Anonymous said:
u studied mulan in english???!! wtf where do u go to school?

yep, the class read maxine hong kingston’s the woman warrior and there’s that mulan chapter so the class…spent a week reading and watching and analyzing a couple other versions of the mulan story

and nah dude i go to a regular old public high school (admittedly a “”college prep”” one) but i just had a really great english teacher


The priest said, I assure you that Almighty God is one-handed, yet He made the world. Baltasar recoiled in alarm, he made a rapid sign of the cross, in order not to give the devil time to commit any mischief, What are you saying, Padre Bartolomeu Lourenço, where is it written that God is one-handed, No one ever said so, nor has it ever been written, only I say that God’s left hand is missing, because it is on His right, at His right hand, that the chosen sit, nor do you find any reference to God’s left hand either in the Holy Scripture or in the writings of the holy doctors of the Church, no one sits at God’s left hand, for it is a void, a nothingness, an absence, therefore God is one-handed. The priest gave a deep sigh and concluded, He has no left hand.

—José Saramago, Baltasar and Blimunda (1982)



why don’t we talk about how the twin peaks theme sounds exactly like the first movement of tchaikovsky’s piano concerto no. 1


"And you? How ‘bout it, filmgoer? Have you solved the case of the - the dead people in L.A.?" - Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, 2005


want 2 recommend sex criminals to more ppl but also don’t want 2 let ppl know that i read a comic called sex criminals


why didn’t i get my mom’s cool lookin jewish nose?? why didn’t i get by dad’s less cool but still acceptable irish nose??? where’d my boring nose come from i don’t like it

Gone Girl (2014) trailer promo posters


One helen is sufficient good looks to launch one thousand ships, and to cause the destruction by fire of an entire city. The objective standards of Ship Launching and Arson may now be used to analyze feminine beauty. […] The table below will be of assistance:

- Attohelen (ah) 10-18 helens: Light up a Lucky While Strolling past a Shipyard

- Femtohelen (fh) 10-15 helens: Burn a Dinner Candle & Spit a Toothpick into a Water Glass

- Picohelen (ph) 10-12 helens: Barbecue a Couple of Steaks & Toss an Inner Tube Into the Pool

- Nanohelen (nh) 10-9 helens: Send the Old Man on a Canoe Trip & Build a Good Roaring Blaze in the Fireplace

- Microhelen (µh) 10-6 helens: Christen a Motor Boat & Start a Grass Fire

- Millihelen (mh) 10-3 helens: Launch One Homeric Warship & Burn Down a House

- Centihelen (ch) 10-2 helens: Incinerate a City Block & Launch Christopher Columbus’ Entire Fleet: The “Niña” (40 tons), the “Pinta” (50 tons) and the “Santa Maria” (100 tons)

- Decihelen (dh) 10-1 helens: Torch the Central Business District of Oakland, California, & Launch the Clipper Ship “Flying Cloud” (1783 tons)

- Helen (h): Raze One City & Launch the WWI US Battleship “Delaware” (20,000 tons)

- Dekahelen (dah) 10 helens: Oversee the Incendiary Bombing of Ten Cities and Launch the Aircraft Carriers “Theodore Roosevelt” (91,487 tons) and “Dwight D. Eisenhower (91,487 tons)

- Hectohelen (hh) 102 helens: Instigate a Major Modern Conflict & Launch the Oil Platform “Stratfjord B” (with ballast, 899,360 tons), the Supertanker “Seawise Giant” (624,038 dead- weight tonnage); the Oil/Ore Carrier “World Gala” (282,460 dwt tonnage) and the Bulk-Ore Tanker “Hoei Maru” (208,000 dwt tonnage)

- Kilohelen (kh) 103 helens: Launch the Equivalent of One Million Greek Warships & Spark a Nuclear Confrontation

- Megahelen (Mh) 106 helens: Launch the Equivalent of One Billion Greek Warships & Blow Up the World

- Gigahelen (Gh) 109 helens: Launch the Equivalent of One Trillion Greek Warships & Destroy the Solar System

- Terahelen (Th) 1012 helens: Launch the Equivalent of One Thousand Trillion Greek Warships and Make Serious Inroads on the Welfare of the Galaxy

It is to be hoped that beauty exceeding the Hectohelen class evades even the most ambitious.

the Table of Helens and Equivalents, from “ON THE INEFFICIENCY OF BEAUTY CONTESTS, & A SUGGESTION FOR THEIR MODERNIZATION." by David Lance Goines. (via penthesileas)

"You’re dancing against the truck right now, you gotta dance with it, girl."